so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
