clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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