he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize