I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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