Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize