No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
