If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
