You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
