just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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