I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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