I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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