With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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