I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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