So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
