If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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