I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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