Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dick very happy bro
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
