Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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