Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
