so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
