yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
No subtext here. People are naked.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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