She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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