I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the day after is always just damage control
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
