It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
