i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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