I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
