She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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