"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
