On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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