Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
