His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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