Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize