These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
