It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
