just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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