Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize