Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
