In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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