He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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