Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
