They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
