Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
