My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
