is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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