I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Boobs are out for the taking
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize