I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Blood and glitter go together right?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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