No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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