Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
