put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
