He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
