got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
