I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
