i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
