If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
