Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
