why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
