Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
