don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
