Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
